Ticonderoga

lyrics by Jay Leo Phillips

We regret to inform you that there has been a change of plans
Steve will take your money at the door, but there will be no band
Please walk single file into the office, where we'll brief you on the
Recent developments in our project: We must take your wallets

Please take a few minutes to review the pamphlets we've given you
Bullet points in red define specific reasons why it's come to this
Fill out the perforated section, tear it off, and sign it
Now, if you don't mind, please go line up outside. The cars are waiting

The passengers could not be saved
Ticonderogas in his grave